Why Men Use Escorts
Men who hire escorts are stereotyped as misogynistic villains or perverts with a hidden agenda, but there are many reasons why men seek out these services. Most men don’t see an escort for physical companionship alone; there are complex emotional aspects behind every reason. Why men use escorts explain them one by one.
Why men use escorts - emotional connections and companionship in a busy career
The range of services a man can have with an escort is unlike regular sex work, with escorts offering a range of experiences, including the girlfriend experience, a travelling companion, an empathetic listener, or even someone to cuddle and watch a film. As an elite escort, it’s vital to know why men seek escort’s services because this is when it comes down to it, the core of your business. Giving the perfect experience for each client is the key to creating regulars and having consistent work throughout the year, so an escort must make him want to come back for more.
One of the most common reasons men seek escort services is because they crave an emotional connection with a woman amidst a busy career; they want the girlfriend’s experience without dealing with an actual girlfriend. The perfect girlfriend, in their eyes, is a well-groomed woman, cultured and able to hold an interesting conversation – without bringing any of her complex problems or feelings into the relationship.
Long work hours and constantly travelling mean these career focussed men don’t have the time in their schedule to factor in a significant other but don’t want to do without the flirting and affection that comes with a meaningful relationship. It can be a lonely lifestyle but made all the more bearable with time with an escort. The emotional burden of having a partner can be too much for some men, especially those who might be using an escort service to manage boredom or mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, which might make a monogamous relationship challenging to maintain.
Alternatively, a man travelling for business will not have his emotional and physical needs met hundreds of miles away from his partner and family at home. After a long, pressing day at work, we all want to go home and relax with our family, but that’s hard for some businessmen to do far away from home. These types of men might seek the company of an escort rather than going up to their hotel room to masturbate to porn, preferring the comfort and tenderness that comes with an escort service, not to mention having an attractive date for the hotel restaurant. Having a successful career can be lonely, so seeking an escort’s services could positively affect his home life.
Companionship is the primary use for escorts. According to a 2016 survey carried out by researchers Susann Huschke and Dirk Schubotz, men seek company and tenderness from escorts – highlighting why escorts must hone their craft and give each client an unforgettable experience ensure a lasting client relationship. Many men seek to see one or two escorts regularly, and by allowing trust and friendship to develop, it will become an essential tool when converting one-off clients into regulars.
Why men use escorts have many reasons – and there are complex emotional aspects behind every one of them
Why men use escorts when in "monogamy" is complicated
Some men find monogamy complicated. Many who use escort services are unsatisfied with the sexual aspect of their relationship. They could be satisfied with every aspect of their relationship, but struggle with their partner’s low sex drive and only have sex a handful of times a year or even not at all. These situations can happen for many reasons, such as their partners, not having the time and are left perpetually tired from their jobs or other commitments. Whatever the reason is, it is no surprise that some men will turn to escorts for sexual intimacy.
But why stay if a relationship is failing to satisfy sexually? Perhaps they’re satisfied with their partner in other aspects of their relationship. They have financial obligations or even have children and turn to escorts for the sexual intimacy lacking at home. There are more people than you think out there who are in love with their partner but don’t want to have sex with them.
In a candid Reddit thread with a 25-year-old escort, she said, “Even though they’re philandering, most still have some respect for their wives, if not as lovers, then as people, mothers […] Many are in functioning, co-parenting relationships but live like roommates.” In many cases, a man might even have permission from his partner to seek the services of an escort.
After all, as this escort goes on to say, this is not Pretty Woman, men don’t leave their partner for an escort.” And, let’s face it, using an escort service is much less complicated than having an affair. Having his physical and emotional needs met by an escort is simple. Neither party leaves with feelings for the other, and he does not have to keep up the communication at home to keep her interested.
Men might have other issues with monogamous relationships, altogether rejecting marriage or traditional relationships for reasons ranging from previous difficult domestic situations to having aversions to developing strong feelings for someone. These clients seek escort services because they still want to have their emotional and sexual needs met without feeling they are going against what they believe.
Why men use escorts have many reasons – and missing connections otherwise can be one of them
Developing an empathetic nature towards clients is an essential part of an escort’s job. Some men seek the service for the missing connection in their lives. Perhaps he is a widower and has missed the skin-to-skin connection that comes with a relationship but isn’t ready to go out into the world and seek out another partner. These might be the most demanding clients to satisfy. They crave a physical connection but do not necessarily want to have sex.
It’s no secret that some men struggle with their sexual identity. It can explain why men use escorts if they feel their masculinity becomes threatened in their relationships or cannot be honest about a taboo aspect of their sexual identity. For instance, some might like to be dominated but play a dominant sexual role in their relationship, so they seek time with an escort to explore different aspects of their erotic conflicts. These clients want to feel masculine again, as they don’t know what it is to be a man anymore.
For others, revealing their sexual fantasies might be social suicide or push their relationship boundaries. They might seek escort services because they have a particular fantasy that they want to explore. In these cases, it is essential to be respectful to the client, as long as you are comfortable with their request. Help to provide a safe space to allow them to explore their sexuality, their sexual fantasies whilst knowing you won’t judge them.
Why men use escorts have many reasons – a confindence boost can be one of them
A Confidence Boost
Men that struggle to approach women as anything but friends or colleagues is becoming more common due to social anxieties or previous trauma. They seek out escort services to get experience with women so that they can then apply this newfound knowledge to a potential long-term relationship in the future. It often allows clients to live out their desires with women they feel are unattainable to themselves otherwise.
One Reddit user reflects on his encounters with escorts, “the core reason is a sense of sexual loneliness and lack of confidence in my body and appearance. I’ve always been overweight, which caused me to question my attractiveness early on. As a means of defence against disappointment, I quickly developed a mindset that disregarded sexuality or attraction as realistic options.” These men feel more comfortable seeking an escort’s services to express their sexuality in a safe and non-judgmental space while also building up confidence lost due to countless rejections.
Using an escort service might make him more relaxed, laid-back, and less anxious towards women, no longer leaving him to worry about how to get a woman he sees as a potential partner.
Similarly, when a guy reaches his 20s and still hasn’t had sex or a girlfriend, he will be feeling the social pressure of virginity heavy on his head. It’s a perfectly explanation to why men use escorts to get sexual experience.
Finally, some men might seek escort service because they are curious about what the experience might be like, coming to an escort to tick it off the bucket list and say he’s done it. He might be testing the water to see if using an escort is something they might consider regularly using, which is why the experience should be perfect for the client to ensure repeat custom.
There are many complex and significant reasons why a man might seek out the services of an escort. These are all important to keep in mind when dealing with a client. There are several areas of expertise you should master to guarantee repeat custom and develop a lucrative business.
Genuine elite level escorts offer a range of experiences for their client to choose from, everything from dinner dates with the girlfriend experience to cuddle and an empathetic shoulder to cry on with clients that seek emotional fulfilment. It is important to remember that men seek the services of an escort for more than just sex.
Queens University Belfast, Commercial sex, clients, and Christian morals: Paying for sex in Ireland.
Vice.com, Why so many guys in relationship pay for sex.
Reddit.com, Why (men) do you use prostitutes/escorts?